On Saturday, I witnessed my son go through the most agonizing 3 hours of his short little life. He put his hand on the lid of a very hot grill and I could hear the sizzle as he made contact. I knew this would be serious and it happened on my watch. Oh $#%&! What did I just do and how bad is it? I had Randi screaming at me over the phone, but I had to ignore her and give Raymond all my attention. He was kicking and screaming as loud and as hard as he ever had before. And he is very strong, so it made it hard for me to do anything. Thank goodness the neighbor came over and helped me gather myself so we could get him some help. When we got to the ER we found out that we had made the right decision to go because he had 2nd degree burns. So we got some treatment, he took a nap on the way home, fed him some dinner, and you would never know by the way he has acted since that anything ever happened to him. He is such a trooper!

I said all of that to say this. Ironically, I feel like he trusts me more now than ever. I was the one to hold and comfort him through most of the three hours. He is so strong both physically and by his will that his mother just could not hold him to calm him down at all. Although I have to admit that the codiene definitely did most of the comforting.

I think he somehow realized that we, as his parents are here to help him. Like the way he really did not want to put his hand into the cold water, but he soon figured out that Mommy and Daddy were helping him. I may be wrong, but I think he is listening to me better since his injury.

The most comforting part of the episode is that I can sense that he is very comforted by me and feels safe with me. When I went in to check on him the first night, he had pulled off his bandage but everything was fine. When I was holding him, he put his head down on my shoulder and went to sleep. He never ever does that with anyone. He only falls asleep after he has been put into his crib. At 3:00 a.m., it was such a good feeling. so different from the helplessness that I had felt earlier when he was screaming so loud and trying his hardest to get away from me. I remembered when people had told me, "they grow up so fast, enjoy every minute, even when you have to wake up in the middle of the night." I truly enjoyed it this time.

Just for the record, I am apoligizing to both my son and my wife. Raymond, I am sorry you had so much pain physically, and Randi, I am sorry you had so much emotional pain and anxiety because of my mistake. Just remember, I had to go through the pain of knowing that it was my fault. Please forgive me!