... Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession--to the praise of his glory.
This post is long over-due and my wife has been asking for it for quite some time. So I am finally doing it to show her that I am proud of her and I love her.
I read this verse after being completely moved by the Spirit in Sunday morning service about a month ago. It just completely jumped off the page at me and I felt the joy and high of knowing beyond all doubt that God is, has, and will always be with me, and someday I will be with Him in Heaven. That Sunday morning I felt the Holy Spirit in a much stronger way than ever before. If you are familiar with the five love languages, I am a physical toucher, and therefor I believe that when God wants to show me love he does it physically. I bowed my head to pray before I took communion, and all at once the words of the sermon began to rush through my mind and penetrate my hardened heart. I realized that the lesson had been meant for me and it made perfect sense all at once. I get this tingling feeling all through my body (usually followed by a stream of tears) when such a revelation is realized as only the Spirit can reveal it. I felt renewed and refreshed.
In case you were wondering, the sermon was on the armor of God. The pastor gave a great analogy of the shield and how it can protect the soldier, but at times it could hurt those around him. When the archers would shoot their flaming arrows, the common defense for the foot soldiers was to form a shell around themselves using their shields. But the archers would soak the arrows in some sort of feul that cause the flames to "bounce" off the shields and spread around them. However, the soldiers could also soak their shields in some sort of counteractant and the flames would not spread. For the soldiers of God, this counteractant would be the word.
This story revealed the mistakes that I had been making for so long. For as long as I can remember, I have had the shield of faith and never really doubted that God had his hand on me at all times, so selfishly, I never really pursued Him through the scriptures as I should. Through my faith, I knew I was protected and safe. Nothing else seemed to matter, but that morning it was revealed to me that while I had been protecting myself from sin, I had been deflecting the flames of sin on the people around me, mainly my wife and son. I truly felt sorrow like I had never felt it before. I had abandoned my post of leadership in this house and I could see how we had gotten off course. Many things have changed since then and I can honestly see a big difference in all the relationships of this home.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Monday, October 29, 2007
On Saturday, I witnessed my son go through the most agonizing 3 hours of his short little life. He put his hand on the lid of a very hot grill and I could hear the sizzle as he made contact. I knew this would be serious and it happened on my watch. Oh $#%&! What did I just do and how bad is it? I had Randi screaming at me over the phone, but I had to ignore her and give Raymond all my attention. He was kicking and screaming as loud and as hard as he ever had before. And he is very strong, so it made it hard for me to do anything. Thank goodness the neighbor came over and helped me gather myself so we could get him some help. When we got to the ER we found out that we had made the right decision to go because he had 2nd degree burns. So we got some treatment, he took a nap on the way home, fed him some dinner, and you would never know by the way he has acted since that anything ever happened to him. He is such a trooper!
I said all of that to say this. Ironically, I feel like he trusts me more now than ever. I was the one to hold and comfort him through most of the three hours. He is so strong both physically and by his will that his mother just could not hold him to calm him down at all. Although I have to admit that the codiene definitely did most of the comforting.
I think he somehow realized that we, as his parents are here to help him. Like the way he really did not want to put his hand into the cold water, but he soon figured out that Mommy and Daddy were helping him. I may be wrong, but I think he is listening to me better since his injury.
The most comforting part of the episode is that I can sense that he is very comforted by me and feels safe with me. When I went in to check on him the first night, he had pulled off his bandage but everything was fine. When I was holding him, he put his head down on my shoulder and went to sleep. He never ever does that with anyone. He only falls asleep after he has been put into his crib. At 3:00 a.m., it was such a good feeling. so different from the helplessness that I had felt earlier when he was screaming so loud and trying his hardest to get away from me. I remembered when people had told me, "they grow up so fast, enjoy every minute, even when you have to wake up in the middle of the night." I truly enjoyed it this time.
Just for the record, I am apoligizing to both my son and my wife. Raymond, I am sorry you had so much pain physically, and Randi, I am sorry you had so much emotional pain and anxiety because of my mistake. Just remember, I had to go through the pain of knowing that it was my fault. Please forgive me!
I said all of that to say this. Ironically, I feel like he trusts me more now than ever. I was the one to hold and comfort him through most of the three hours. He is so strong both physically and by his will that his mother just could not hold him to calm him down at all. Although I have to admit that the codiene definitely did most of the comforting.
I think he somehow realized that we, as his parents are here to help him. Like the way he really did not want to put his hand into the cold water, but he soon figured out that Mommy and Daddy were helping him. I may be wrong, but I think he is listening to me better since his injury.
The most comforting part of the episode is that I can sense that he is very comforted by me and feels safe with me. When I went in to check on him the first night, he had pulled off his bandage but everything was fine. When I was holding him, he put his head down on my shoulder and went to sleep. He never ever does that with anyone. He only falls asleep after he has been put into his crib. At 3:00 a.m., it was such a good feeling. so different from the helplessness that I had felt earlier when he was screaming so loud and trying his hardest to get away from me. I remembered when people had told me, "they grow up so fast, enjoy every minute, even when you have to wake up in the middle of the night." I truly enjoyed it this time.
Just for the record, I am apoligizing to both my son and my wife. Raymond, I am sorry you had so much pain physically, and Randi, I am sorry you had so much emotional pain and anxiety because of my mistake. Just remember, I had to go through the pain of knowing that it was my fault. Please forgive me!
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